Femboi 4 Life

I am transgender (Which is not the same as transsexual. A few of my friends are too, I found out after I told them. I was talking to them and I came up with a theory that is true for myself especially, and a few of them (but not all).

I have this theory that we transgender individuals are commonly under the influence of multiple personalities. There can be more then what I’m about to mention but there are three key personalities:

1) The personality that developed as a result of being nurtured (assigned) as a member of a certain gender in the binary.

2) The personality converse to the nurtured personality. This is the personality of what we become when we throw away our assignation and tap into the gender we feel like we are.

3) And then there is the true self, which is our inherent primal nature, independent of gender assignation or gender identity, and often the intermediary between the first two.

So in my case, there is me, Carmen, and Melo [my boy nickname].

Now unlike normal cases if people who have multiple personalities we have either:

a) always been aware of our alternate selves.
b) become aware or developed them as a result of emotional distress.
c) or a combination of a and b (as in my case)

For me the answer is C.

I remember even as a very young child, trying to wear dresses and girls underwear as well as to play a female role whenever all the kids in day care or preschool played “house”. That’s how I was comfortable. I had what some would describe as an “unnatural” fascination with crossing gender barriers.

That fulfills point a

As for point B, I think Carmen became more prominent as a result of a prolonged period of depression, nightmares, and loneliness as I was severely and violently bullied through my adolescence by my peers and my family. So to save me from my loneliness, Carmen stepped out of the recesses of my “true” self and made herself known… Or perhaps my true self created her as a defense mechanism.

And as I became more aware of her, I became much happier and more accepting of her.

I use to claim I was a straight homophobe. But that’s obviously not the case. I think I was just afraid of sharing one body with multiple selves. My boy self was afraid to let Carmen have control EVER but now he is so comfortable with her(me) that Carmen has become an equal part of this existence.

It’s not like different people fighting for control like in cases of normal multiple personality phenomena… It’s multiple versions of myself all getting along quite well.

I don’t feel crazy, I know these alternate selves exist. I don’t feel endangered or dangerous. It feels extremely healthy and makes me very happy.

So the main theory is that of the three main personalities.

True self
Assigned gender self
The self of the gender you identify most with or are more comfortable with.

Does this seem similar to any of your cases at all?

Or does this seem like nonsense?

It’s all off the top of my head and vet abstract so I could see how it may seem crazy to some.

Please message me about how you feel. If you identify with this at all, if it contradicts your experience, etc. I’m very curious to see how other people developed emotionally and mentally as they became more comfortable with their transgender identity.

Thanks ^_^

~Carmen